There are hard days when trying to grow into a successful self-published author business. It’s easy to battle your own mindset and wonder “Is this really worth it?” When people around you don’t even know what you do for a living, or you find yourself comforted by writing strangers, but not your own family, that’s when the reality sinks in – you are 100% responsible for making this happen.

I found myself feeling flustered and pissed off yesterday. I’m supposed to know things, yet I struggle with my mindset at times. Go on the internet and you’ll find hordes of writers talking about the greatness of connection and writing. But somedays, I want to toss all my work in the trash and fade into a job no one cares about. Writing is rejection – in all its forms. So where do you find the courage?

I happened to find it, as I always do, in the beauty of a tree.

There are metaphors and poetry dedicated to autumn and the falling of leaves — symbolizing the changes and turns we must take in life and in our personal development. One poem I wrote several years ago about autumn says:

She covers the trees

With her colorful green

And sips of the dew

In the morning scene.

The days change her colors

From green to red –

The brightest color

She’s ever bled.

She departs from the tree,

On the wind she is flying.

The most beautiful of moments—

When she is dying.

Autumn to most indicates an end, or a new beginning. Leaves change color and then die off – leaving us with a long winter and then finally, springtime where everything is new again.

Self-Published Authors Mindset

Yesterday was January 31st and we had some snow on the ground. The cold was taking a bit of a break as it was around 40 degrees. The weather was nice enough to get outside, at least for this northerner. I decided to walk around a park I’d never been to before.

That was when I paused and stared at this tree.

At first glance, I wondered why a tree would hold on to dead leaves. Here it is mid-winter, and the tree still hasn’t shed them. How bizarre. Not only that, but the top half of the tree did its job. Isn’t this tree wasting its energy and resources on keeping the leaves?

Since I was curious, I came home and googled it. Turns out it has a name: Marcescence (pronounced “mar-CESS-enss”). Scientists named it but can only theorize why a tree does this.

The main theory is that the tree is protecting new buds that will grow in the spring from wildlife predators. When the buds pop through, the leaves fall to the ground just like in autumn, giving the tree nutrients and conserving any moisture in the soil.

I thought about this introspectively concluding nothing is really dead. Even the “dead” leaves have a purpose.

The Reality of Self-Published Authors

Self-publishing is sometimes a lonely endeavor. You put your nose to the grind, pump out words which are beautiful ideas, and then cut them up and brutally edit your own ideas until they make sense to the reader. Most readers can’t grasp the hard work that goes into it. All they see is the final product. And it’s there, they spend 3 minutes leaving a review, sometimes a negative one.

No wonder we can feel rejected and lose hope. No wonder we lose sight of our end goal.

For me, writing as of this very moment isn’t about wealth. It’s about building connections, growing my reader base, and learning about people who are just like me — people trying to put their work into the world and get it seen. How many books do I have to write to get noticed? Am I wasting my time on this? Should I be doing something else? Why can’t I write as well as so and so? I am not all that impressive in real life, what makes me think my writing will be?

Oh, we all have doubts and questions that wear down our minds. But nature clarified some things for me, as it usually does. Sometimes it’s more about the journey than it is the arrival.

Whether it’s your first book, or your tenth book, there is a truth that lies underneath. Nothing you’ve done is “dead”. The work you’ve done paves the way for what comes next. Your “leaves” consist of books and words written, whether others appreciate it or not. And what comes next, or “buds” is something new. Previous books and writing nourish the next phase. Nothing is ever worthless or useless. There’s hope in the fact that you have endured the long winter, only to emerge a better writer.

Self-Published Authors Success

Success is subjective. Are you a successful author if you make a lot of money? Or are you successful if you’ve helped someone through a problem? Is it defined by how many books sold, or by the one person who can’t stop praising how much you mean to them because of your books?

You have to define what success really is for you. But most authors, money-driven or problem/solution-driven have one thing in common: their mindset is focused on the journey rather than the temporary outcomes.

Self-publishing for me is more than a task or a job, it’s redefining the things I tell myself about my writing. If you don’t love your writing or lose sight of your why, then it’s harder to promote your work. You have to learn to fall in love with your work – to look at with new eyes, and smile at how far you’ve come.

The real success isn’t in dollar signs or books sold, but in the journey you’ve taken to get where you are now. Word by word, we find our way – not to say “I have arrived” but to say, “I came all this way.”

Spring is on the way. Pause and ask yourself, “how far have I come?”