by Michelle
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by Michelle
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If you want to get under my skin, start with saying how you can’t do things – or losing your genuine voice.
This happened this morning with my husband telling me how he can’t go to lunch with his dad because someone called in sick at work. He can’t go tomorrow (on his birthday), because his boss scheduled a meeting with their 401K guy.
Yesterday he was sick, and he had to go to work because he couldn’t possibly take a day off.
You better believe I’m going to give you crap for those statements.
Where’s your freedom of choice? Is someone putting a gun to your head and making it near impossible to do what you want? Will you lose your job if you say “no”?
Stop with the learned helplessness.
You Can’t or You Won’t
The real problem isn’t that you can’t do those things – it’s that you won’t because it costs you something. Most of the time, that something isn’t as big as you think it is.
If my husband reschedules the 401K meeting for a different day, would he get fired? Would the world stop spinning?
What probably would happen is his boss would get annoyed and maybe make some comment about it. The meeting would happen another day. Everyone would forget about the reschedule and work would continue. The end.
But in our heads, we have narratives that we like to tell ourselves. I don’t like the term “limiting beliefs” because everyone uses it to sound like they know psychology, but that’s what it is. A belief that limits your ability to move forward.
The cost is uncomfortable, but not deadly. It’s hard, but not you won’t lose your livelihood over it. We might feel like it’s impossible or it might harm us in some way, but the truth is often less sensational.
What if you changed your perspective? Instead of always saying you can’t do something, why not ask, “What if…”
What would REALLY happen if I said no?

What would REALLY happen if I said NO to status quo?
The Author’s Genuine Voice
One of the hardest things about being an author is all these no’s I tend to put on myself. As much as my husband annoyed me this morning, I thought about it and realized that I give away my genuine voice too.
My journey with being an author started with a thought. What if I write a book?
- No, I couldn’t possibly write a book. (What if I wrote a book?)
- Who would read it? (What if they read it?)
- I’m not that good of a writer. (What if I’m a good writer?)
- That seems too technical, and I couldn’t learn how to do that. (What if I learned the process?)
- That’s going to cost a lot of money to publish your own book. (What if I invested in my work?)
- I don’t have time to do marketing. (What if I made time to market my books?)
- Who would want to read what I have to say? (What if they read what I had to say and liked it?)
Who needs enemies when you talk yourself out of it. Question your questions.
I was watching the show, “Night Agent” last night which perfectly illustrates how we sabotage our genuine voice. One of the characters is a “bad guy” and his sister advises him about getting a raise. I’m paraphrasing, but his sister says, “Hey, you’ve been working for this dude for 6 years and he wouldn’t be able to thrive without you. You’re putting yourself in danger and putting your face out there on his behalf. You deserve a raise.”
So, he approaches his big, bad boss and asks for a raise. The guy asks him to negotiate for himself. He repeats what his sister told him and then his boss asks him to give specific numbers. The dialogue went something like this:
I think I should get 10%. I think I’ve earned it. I mean, I wouldn’t take less than 5%. I think that’s fair. But you know 2-3% would be ok with me.
He started off with confidence but down-played his own importance. And that’s what we do too unless we learn to question our own beliefs and forget our genuine voice.
Your Author Voice Starts with “YES”
My first book was a literal info dump about Pinterest marketing. It wasn’t my best, but it wasn’t my worst. People read it, gave it positive reviews, and I sold around 600 books. (Not bad for boring book).
Even if it would have flopped, the process gave me courage to try again. Not only that, but now I am putting my words out into the world instead of sitting back saying “I can’t possibly be an author.”
Whether you are an author, an entrepreneur, or working in a traditional role, there will always be beliefs that hold us back. What we believe will happen or how a person will react are the biggest things we fear.
- What would happen if you only said YES to things you wanted to do?
- What if you stopped taking on projects and meetings that can function without you?
- How could you show up in the world better, if you didn’t have the beliefs that hold you back from truly living and honoring your creativity and drive?
- What if you said YES to yourself and NO to slog of mundane tasks and activities that are just there to fill time?
- In 5 years, what if you built a life around saying YES to all the things you want to do and have value in your life and stopped giving away your choices to other people?
You’d be unstoppable.
That one “yes” can turn into a lifetime of validating your own needs and giving you a voice in your life again.
Who told you that you had no say in your own life? Who took your voice away?
Start imagining the what ifs.
“What if I wrote a book” could turn into a daydream of books you’d love to write, things you want to say, stories you want to tell. As you imagine the what ifs, then start looking at possibilities.
Example: What if I wrote a book?
Maybe my book can turn into a course. It would be cool if I created a companion guide. I wonder if I should help my audience by creating a series of books.
Example: What if I invested in my writing through marketing my books
Maybe I could hire an editor to make my writing shine. Oh, I have some cool ideas for the cover that I bet a designer could help me with! I wonder if I should create an audiobook version too.
Let your mind go with it and see where it takes you.
Value yourself with one small “yes”. Then turn one “yes” into a path of reclaiming your autonomy and voice.
If you don’t speak up for yourself, someone will do it for you, and they’ll suck at it.

Authentic – Launch in March 2025!
If you are curious about how to build a personal brand that uses your genuine voice, my next book “Authentic: Stand Out Without Selling Out” is for you! Want to get it free? Join my ARC Team! Fill out the form below and I’ll send the book to you for free.
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